I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
