wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
