Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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