I smell stomach acid.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants