Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.