Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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