Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
