my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize