FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize