I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
