I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dignity is for republicans.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
