I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
