Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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