You can't motorboat a personality
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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