Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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