She is in my trunk
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
