I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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