You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
