You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
