I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
