I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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