we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
