my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
how does that bad decision feel?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
