On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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