So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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