okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
