benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
