...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
