you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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