yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
