im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
