pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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