I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
