have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
