dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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