i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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