maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
operation have a gay friend backfired
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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