She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
