Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
