Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
