it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
3pm strippers are depressing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
