last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
