final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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