Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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