Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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