At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
