You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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