Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We need a shit load of segways right now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
