something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
