I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize