Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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