barbara walters just said penis...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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