So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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