She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
