I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life