At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
about cumming, not toast
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness