Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep