oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.