yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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