Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.

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  (714): Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park. http://tfl.nu/ogfg
  Replies (10) Good night (479) Bad night (1875) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.

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  (734): debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book. http://tfl.nu/o0qf
  Replies (22) Good night (955) Bad night (3909) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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  (419): We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun. http://tfl.nu/fiqf
  Replies (10) Good night (4277) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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  (317): update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good. http://tfl.nu/p2ef
  Replies (6) Good night (3821) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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  (812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx
  Replies (8) Good night (4147) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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  (813): peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week http://tfl.nu/lvga
  Replies (9) Good night (2288) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.

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  (817): Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass. http://tfl.nu/wbhi
  Replies (18) Good night (3469) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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  (660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (411) Bad night (2689) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after

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  (505): Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after http://tfl.nu/uja5
  Replies (2) Good night (1428) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote

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  (406): I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote http://tfl.nu/6a7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.

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  (312): Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/3sxn
  Replies (8) Good night (455) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2265) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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  (479): I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk. http://tfl.nu/vgj4
  Replies (7) Good night (1031) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...

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  (602): This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today... http://tfl.nu/mxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (350)

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