i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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