Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
