My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
