I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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