erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I smell stomach acid.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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