I could make wine with my vomit
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
