you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
