I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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