She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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